I used to be happy,
I was not this angry or snappy.
Now I struggle to get out of bed,
But they tell me it is all in my head.
I used to feel loved,
Now I don’t feel it enough.
Instead they make me feel like a problem,
As if I do not know how far I have fallen.
I used to love myself, every flaw.
But now everything feels red raw.
My heart is broken, literally and figuratively,
And my emotions unstoppable, embarrassingly.
I used to believe,
In things that cannot be seen.
Now I appear not to care.
Can you not see that I am just scared?
I used to have everything I needed,
Now I wish I could be deleted.
Take their memories with me,
So I stop feeling so guilty.
I used to gaze up at the stars,
Thankful. But now I am covered in scars
What do I have to be thankful for?
There is nothing left anymore.
I used to be happy.
Now I’m stuck in my own anxiety.
I just want you to see,
This PTSD is not me.